I am constantly amazed at the changes my clients make after just 6 sessions.
Most recently I had a client who was having a very difficult time in her marriage.
She and her spouse had become very negative and combative with each other. She was at a loss at how to stop the arguing and fighting. It was so bad that she found herself crying a lot and in an almost constant state of unease, fearing her husband would leave her. She didn’t enjoy spending time with him and she especially didn’t enjoy spending time with him and their friends.
After just 6 sessions she was able to break her old negative patterns and truly listen to what her husband was saying without feeling attacked. When she stayed open to listening, she found some of what he said justified and told him so. When she didn’t agree she was able to share that too, in a softer loving manner. She stopped having the need to be right.
When she listened to him and responded without judgement he felt heard and was able to do that for her as well. So now they were communicating and both were feeling heard by the other.
The response she received from him was so reinforcing that she found she actually enjoyed these conversations as that is what they turned into, conversations, (no longer confrontations), where each person gets the time they need to say their truth. No longer were they at each other’s throats, both needing to be right.
Because she changed her feelings about herself, she was able to think about the situation differently which let to her behavior change. She was no longer attached to being right and making him change. She was feeling good about her responses and her attitude change. Because she felt good about herself and how she was handling challenging situations with her husband, her reality changed and he recognized this change and no longer felt attacked and put down, thereby letting go of the competition since he no longer had anyone to compete with.
My client wasn’t trying to make him change, or needing to be the one who is right. She was also able to decide what to let go of and what was important enough to address. These were huge changes that led to a new positive reality for this couple.
I love this work!
